He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My life is pants optional.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
