32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
