I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
