If i come over, it means nothing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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