I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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