Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
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2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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