I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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