Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do