Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
