just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
