On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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