The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
