She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
where are you?
Hypothermia
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
