32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
