Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
