can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
