hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We need to get me chipped asap
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