i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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