Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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