this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just puked most of my soul out..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
