That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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