bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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