I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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