I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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