honey bunches of taint.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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