Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
