so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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