I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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