so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize