i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
