The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
