i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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