Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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