On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
