I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize