Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
being pregnant is like rehab
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
