weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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