there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
