Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
