normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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