I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
