well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize