Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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