North Korea, Best Korea!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
