he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
