I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
