he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
