shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
