One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
