I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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