Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
