he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
