East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
