Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize