You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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