She just used a chaser for red wine.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
