that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
