When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize