Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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