I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
